Autumn in NH is a pretty amazing thing - there are bursts of orange and red and yellow that take your breath away sometimes. Autumn here on the island is quite different - subdued and almost tame. I was inclined to regret that a little, until I realized this morning that I really do love this subdued autumn, too. While I would have said there wasn't much color, because most of the leaves stay a greenish-yellow, it struck me that there is a quiet golden quality to it that is breathtaking in its own way.
Outside our kitchen window, for example, are two bushes, growing up together. One is that golden color, and the other is a rare red. The combination, especially when the sun hits it, is one of my all-time favorite sights.
And so I advance one more step in my RI acclimatizing process. I've always been such a loyal NH girl, but little by little I find more to love about RI. I still remember the realization that it was starting to happen: I was at a basketball game in NH, and when I heard the opposing team was from RI I kind of wanted to root for them. It was a strange moment, like I was a hermit crab who was getting too big for its shell.
But as life goes on I'm getting more comfortable with the growing-into-a-new-shell feeling. I can love NH and love RI - I can love the way things were and the way things are - I can grow in my loves and in my interests.
It reminds me of my favorite quote from Wendell Berry's Jayber Crow. The title character is returning to the place of his boyhood home, and finds that it had burned down. He talks of it this way: "There was nothing there even to recognize - just a patch of weeds and tree sprouts with a chimney sticking up in the middle. ...And I can tell you a further thing that I have learned, and here I look ahead to the resting of my case. I love the house that belonged to the chimney, holding it bright in memory, and I love the saplings and the weeds."
What a picture of being willing to grow out of an old shell! And in his case the new shell was potentially painful. But he learned to love the house in memory, and love the weeds of the present. I find that so inspiring. That is what I want my life to look like: a picture of acceptance and a picture of love.
Today, without even being aware of what it was that was happening, I moved just a little closer to that goal. Today I can say: I love the brilliant autumns of NH, and the quiet golden autumns of RI.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Sunday, October 07, 2012
Saying Goodbye... Or Not
Today I drove myself over toward Chestnut Hill to say goodbye to Lindsay, one of my dearest friends, as she heads off to be a missionary in Costa Rica.
How many times I have driven that road before! How many times I have jumped in my car and zipped over for a weekend with Lindsay and Amy, or an outing with the FBI gang. How many times I have sat in that living room playing games, talking, listening to music, basking in friend-ness. How many times that home has brought new life to my spirit, giving me strength to head back to college or teaching. How many, many memories...
And it was so real that those days were gone. Many of us have moved away, and now the one who could arguably be called the nucleus of it all was up and going to Costa Rica.
Granted there was a tad bit of melancholy.
But at the same time there was a whole different reality that was simultaneously present in my mind and heart. In class recently I was lecturing on Augustine's "City of God." He was writing about the fall of Rome (an event which, I concede, was slightly more traumatic than the events I'm writing of), and pointing out that that event, seen from the perspective of the City of God, was but a stepping stone to something much greater. The rise and fall of empires play a support role to the real point of history: the reconciliation of man with God.
It's not that things fall apart. It's not that things are subject to random change. It's not that we simply can't hang on to those things in the past that we so loved, and that provided such security. It IS that our lives are progressing TOWARD something. We're changing because we're getting closer to a goal. My friends are moving away and undergoing significant life changes because they are on a journey toward God. How clearly I have seen that in Lindsay's experience!
And here's the key: I am on that same journey. I, too, caught up in my teaching world in RI, am traveling toward that goal. So even as life is shifting and changing, there is a deeper certitude and steadiness that comes from the fact that I and these my friends whom I love are on the same path, going to the same place. Even as physical distances are stretched to limits I never could have foreseen, in reality we are drawing closer and closer together as we approach that final destination where we will have perfect fellowship with each other, and most of all with God.
As I traveled back home through those winding, autumn colored roads to the home of my childhood, the song I was listening to was called "All Shall Be Well." And I believe it.
How many times I have driven that road before! How many times I have jumped in my car and zipped over for a weekend with Lindsay and Amy, or an outing with the FBI gang. How many times I have sat in that living room playing games, talking, listening to music, basking in friend-ness. How many times that home has brought new life to my spirit, giving me strength to head back to college or teaching. How many, many memories...
And it was so real that those days were gone. Many of us have moved away, and now the one who could arguably be called the nucleus of it all was up and going to Costa Rica.
Granted there was a tad bit of melancholy.
But at the same time there was a whole different reality that was simultaneously present in my mind and heart. In class recently I was lecturing on Augustine's "City of God." He was writing about the fall of Rome (an event which, I concede, was slightly more traumatic than the events I'm writing of), and pointing out that that event, seen from the perspective of the City of God, was but a stepping stone to something much greater. The rise and fall of empires play a support role to the real point of history: the reconciliation of man with God.
It's not that things fall apart. It's not that things are subject to random change. It's not that we simply can't hang on to those things in the past that we so loved, and that provided such security. It IS that our lives are progressing TOWARD something. We're changing because we're getting closer to a goal. My friends are moving away and undergoing significant life changes because they are on a journey toward God. How clearly I have seen that in Lindsay's experience!
And here's the key: I am on that same journey. I, too, caught up in my teaching world in RI, am traveling toward that goal. So even as life is shifting and changing, there is a deeper certitude and steadiness that comes from the fact that I and these my friends whom I love are on the same path, going to the same place. Even as physical distances are stretched to limits I never could have foreseen, in reality we are drawing closer and closer together as we approach that final destination where we will have perfect fellowship with each other, and most of all with God.
As I traveled back home through those winding, autumn colored roads to the home of my childhood, the song I was listening to was called "All Shall Be Well." And I believe it.
Friday, February 10, 2012
A Perfect Friday Night
Every now and then even a people-person relishes some quiet alone time, and for me the relishing time is now! I've got my hot chocolate, my fruit platter, my Hershey kisses (food - check; now for the more substantive things...), my journal, music playing, my "ideas" book in which I just began a 40 by 40 list (yikes!), a Martha Stewart Living magazine (yup, you heard me - and I'm all up to date on gardens and farming... or at least I looked at the pictures), my book, and a DVD for later. And I'm just unspeakably happy! In the midst of an extra-busy (but also extra-good!) school year, I can't really remember the last evening I spent this way. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Blissful sigh.
Friday, November 11, 2011
11/11/11
It's here at last! The long-awaited day! So it's definitely time for an 11 themed post.
What does 11 mean to me? So many things, it turns out.
My love affair with the number 11 began when I was 15, in the front hall of the Main House, when Craig pointed to a picture of Tim Naehring, #11, of the Boston Red Sox and said "Have you heard of this guy?" That was all it took. Naehring was my hero, and 11 was my favorite number.
Since that time, the number has only grown in significance.
It symbolizes my youthful passion, and now somewhat more stayed, though still-deeply loyal, love for the Red Sox. I remember those countless games listened to on the radio while I finished math homework, and my first visit to Fenway in '96, with that first glimpse of the green grass in the park. I remember watching the All Star game at Fairview with Grandpa Murray. I remember crying when they got knocked out of the play-offs in '95 and '99. I remember the numb devastation of '03, and the miracle of '04 ("Then our mouth was filled with laughter And our tongue with joyful shouting; Then they said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." - Ps 126). 11 is the Red Sox.
11 is also friendship. It is my friendship with Craig, of course, and over the years we've exchanged many greetings on 11/11 days and at 11:11. But it's also my friendship with others, countless others, who have told me that they think of me at 11:11. 11 is the reminder that I "count myself in nothing else so happy as in a soul remembering my good friends." - Shakespeare
11 is also my family. Several family members pray for me when they see 11:11 on the clock. 11 is their love for me, and the amazing way that they have loved me completely for all these years, even with my strange 11 fetish type quirks. 11 is their unconditional acceptance of me.
11 is also my students. Several of them know that 11 is my favorite number, and this reminds me of how much I've shared with them and they with me over the years. 11 is many special bonds I've formed, and how much more teaching has given me than I ever dreamed possible.
11 is trust in God. I thought it would be pretty cool to get married on 11/11/11, but I'm fine with the fact that this isn't my wedding day after all because I trust in God and His good plan for my life.
11 is a chance to celebrate! Now that it's here at last I am going to celebrate my friendships and my family and my Father... by going to Boston with Kimberly to swing by Fenway and then visit the MFA! Not a bad Plan B to a wedding, if I do say so myself (and much cheaper!) :)
Happy 11/11/11 Day Everyone!!!
What does 11 mean to me? So many things, it turns out.
My love affair with the number 11 began when I was 15, in the front hall of the Main House, when Craig pointed to a picture of Tim Naehring, #11, of the Boston Red Sox and said "Have you heard of this guy?" That was all it took. Naehring was my hero, and 11 was my favorite number.
Since that time, the number has only grown in significance.
It symbolizes my youthful passion, and now somewhat more stayed, though still-deeply loyal, love for the Red Sox. I remember those countless games listened to on the radio while I finished math homework, and my first visit to Fenway in '96, with that first glimpse of the green grass in the park. I remember watching the All Star game at Fairview with Grandpa Murray. I remember crying when they got knocked out of the play-offs in '95 and '99. I remember the numb devastation of '03, and the miracle of '04 ("Then our mouth was filled with laughter And our tongue with joyful shouting; Then they said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." - Ps 126). 11 is the Red Sox.
11 is also friendship. It is my friendship with Craig, of course, and over the years we've exchanged many greetings on 11/11 days and at 11:11. But it's also my friendship with others, countless others, who have told me that they think of me at 11:11. 11 is the reminder that I "count myself in nothing else so happy as in a soul remembering my good friends." - Shakespeare
11 is also my family. Several family members pray for me when they see 11:11 on the clock. 11 is their love for me, and the amazing way that they have loved me completely for all these years, even with my strange 11 fetish type quirks. 11 is their unconditional acceptance of me.
11 is also my students. Several of them know that 11 is my favorite number, and this reminds me of how much I've shared with them and they with me over the years. 11 is many special bonds I've formed, and how much more teaching has given me than I ever dreamed possible.
11 is trust in God. I thought it would be pretty cool to get married on 11/11/11, but I'm fine with the fact that this isn't my wedding day after all because I trust in God and His good plan for my life.
11 is a chance to celebrate! Now that it's here at last I am going to celebrate my friendships and my family and my Father... by going to Boston with Kimberly to swing by Fenway and then visit the MFA! Not a bad Plan B to a wedding, if I do say so myself (and much cheaper!) :)
Happy 11/11/11 Day Everyone!!!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Reading Frenzy!!
When school began, I decided it was time for a tv/movie fast for at least a month. It was SUCH a good decision!! The motive for the decision was that I was sick of postmodern, self-centered thought pervading my world with such regularity. It was time to shut down one avenue through which lies travel into my life. Sure, I can combat the lies, but hey, if I don't watch anything I don't have to concern myself with the drivel! So out went the movies.
Wow.
I've found such amazing benefits from my screen fast! Of course the obvious benefit was the one I was looking for upon undertaking this venture: I wasn't constantly being subjected to other people's ideas of what life is all about. Without those insidious voices, I have been able to hear more clearly the Truth - what life is really all about. I've found myself so content and happy with life, and with my fulfillment coming from doing what God has given me to do with all of my heart.
But there's more! Benefit two is that I have so much more TIME! And I really need that time, because somehow this year is busier than ever... My new Medieval Lit class is taking lots of research and prep, and I have found such rich reward in spending so much time on it. For the first time since I started teaching in 2005 I feel like I am truly giving 100% in my classes. I'm not doing the "ahhh, I'll just wing that one..." thing (at least not often!). I'm prepping thoroughly, and it is such a JOY to be able to get into the classroom every day and know that I'm totally ready, and see the benefit in my students' experience. I'm having a blast! And I love seeing my kids respond.
But there's MORE! Benefit three (and this is a major one!) is that I'm now on this reading kick, big time! Ahhhh, I've missed those days where reading was the thing I always did when I had free minute. And now it's back! Frequently throughout the day I'll find myself looking forward to being able to read in the evening. After my day's work is done, I'll happily pick up my book and jump back into that world I'd been thinking of throughout the day. Last Friday I got four books out of the library, and I'm already on book three (which, incidentally, is Pride and Prejudice, which I last began in 8th grade)!
So people, if you're looking for less postmodernism influencing your thinking, more time, and more joy in reading, I suggest you, too, join me in this screen fast! It's a great time :)
Friday, September 16, 2011
Gotta Love those Medievals
I have been enjoying my brand-new Medieval Lit class SO MUCH! Partly because it is a class with my best students, so the discussions are top quality, and partly because said discussions revolve around such profundities as those of Boethius and Augustine, and lead to conclusions such as this one by Boethius:
"We have concluded that both happiness and God are the supreme good; wherefore that which is highest Divinity must also itself necessarily be supreme happiness."
And such definitions of happiness as this one of Augustine's: "the full possession of all that the heart can long for," which is so obviously met in God alone and God in His fulness.
As Augustine put it so profoundly, "Thou has made us for thyself, Oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee."
Teaching this class is like going to church every day!
"We have concluded that both happiness and God are the supreme good; wherefore that which is highest Divinity must also itself necessarily be supreme happiness."
And such definitions of happiness as this one of Augustine's: "the full possession of all that the heart can long for," which is so obviously met in God alone and God in His fulness.
As Augustine put it so profoundly, "Thou has made us for thyself, Oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee."
Teaching this class is like going to church every day!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Funniest Moments of Today
Funny Moment #1: Teacher Devotions
Our high school science teacher, John, is a tech-savvy kind of guy, who has many of the latest gadgets. His latest gadgets collection includes a Nook (or a Kindle... I'm not sure which), which he uses for teacher devotions in the morning, instead of bringing a Bible. The headmaster tells us the reference, and we all diligently go "flip flip flip flip flip" while John goes "click click" and is there.
Well, this morning it went like this. The headmaster said the reference and we all began flipping. "Aw man," John said, "I hit a wrong button!" There was a little silence, and then, ever so softly, a little "naa naa a boo boo" song came floating from Steve's seat. And the second grade teacher followed that with a smug little, "I'm there already." A win for the old school among us!
Funny Moment #2: First Drama Class
Since we're planning to put on a performance of various Shakespeare scenes at the end of the year, we were reading snippets of several of the Bard's plays during drama class today. We soon came to the wonderful scene in "The Merchant of Venice" in which Shylock demands his pound of flesh. Shylock, read by my student Rob (in a fabulously evil voice), had just finished his bitter diatribe in which, despite what anyone said, he was going to stand for LAW, and would NEVER give in to the demands that he forgive Antonio. And then it was time for Portia to speak. She began her wonderful, page-long soliloquy about mercy. But this time, instead of a 15 minute speech, she got as far as "The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath," when Rob's evil voice broke in with the shrugged: "Oh, okay." Now there is some abbreviated Shakespeare for you!
Our high school science teacher, John, is a tech-savvy kind of guy, who has many of the latest gadgets. His latest gadgets collection includes a Nook (or a Kindle... I'm not sure which), which he uses for teacher devotions in the morning, instead of bringing a Bible. The headmaster tells us the reference, and we all diligently go "flip flip flip flip flip" while John goes "click click" and is there.
Well, this morning it went like this. The headmaster said the reference and we all began flipping. "Aw man," John said, "I hit a wrong button!" There was a little silence, and then, ever so softly, a little "naa naa a boo boo" song came floating from Steve's seat. And the second grade teacher followed that with a smug little, "I'm there already." A win for the old school among us!
Funny Moment #2: First Drama Class
Since we're planning to put on a performance of various Shakespeare scenes at the end of the year, we were reading snippets of several of the Bard's plays during drama class today. We soon came to the wonderful scene in "The Merchant of Venice" in which Shylock demands his pound of flesh. Shylock, read by my student Rob (in a fabulously evil voice), had just finished his bitter diatribe in which, despite what anyone said, he was going to stand for LAW, and would NEVER give in to the demands that he forgive Antonio. And then it was time for Portia to speak. She began her wonderful, page-long soliloquy about mercy. But this time, instead of a 15 minute speech, she got as far as "The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath," when Rob's evil voice broke in with the shrugged: "Oh, okay." Now there is some abbreviated Shakespeare for you!
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